Gratz!

I just got the happy news! Congratulations. You know who you are. I wish I could say I knew it would go well, and I can, so: I knew it would go well! And you deserve it, every li'l bit. And if you don't tell me when, I'll bite you, first chance I get, so help me Goddess (for this is not about hot dog buns; maybe hot buns, dog!).

You others who happen to be confused by this, don't worry. You probably should be. All is well. These news aren't mine to tell. So if the hot non-dog chooses to divulge, that too shall come to pass. Remember: confusion is a precursor to enlightenment, so just cheer along with me!

Off to bed now. Four more days.