Kabuki-za

Today I went to Kabuki-za. We had a group discount. Having seen the Kabuki-za prices, I first thought it was a big discount. It wasn't. We just had the crappy seats.

The crappy seats are on the third floor, about a mile from the stage, and Japanese-sized. This means that those with smaller Perception scores will presumably only see smudges moving across the stages, and that most male Europeans will at some point during the performance experience regret of never having had leg amputation. The fact that the full course of Kabuki lasts for more than 4 hours does not help.

However, physical pains notwithstanding, it was a pretty cool experience. If in Japan, it's definitely one of the things that is nice to see. However, not all of it would I be willing to repeat often. There were three pieces in today's set; the first one was interesting, the second one, not so much, while the third one was the only one I could really call fun.

Now, what was what?

According to the flyer, the first piece was called "Sugawara denju tenarai kagami" (Sugawara and the Secrets of Calligraphy). It was a famous historical piece, adapted from Bunraku, lasted over 2 hours, and even the Japanese need an earpiece to understand what they're talking about. For those who wish to know more, it's on Wikipedia, and we were shown Act II scene 2 and Act III scene 2. Between the flyer in my lap and the voice in my ear, I managed to get the story (despite having dozed through about a third of it).

The second piece was mainly a dance performance, lightly interspersed with some comic interludes (or, as GW fans would put it, monkey business). Japanese dance is highly stylised, it doesn't interpret the music but rather the singing of the chanters sitting in the background (which is even more incomprehensible), and I must have slept through about a half. The name was "Kyokanoko musume ninin Dojoji" (Two women at Dojoji temple). According to the pamphlet, "Musume Dojoji is considered to be a pinnacle of the art of the onnagata female role specialist". It's definitely something to see, but I guess for many western people not really something to watch for an hour or so.

The third one, which I enjoyed the most (and managed not to doze on) was "Ninjo Banashi Bunshichi Mottoi" (The Story of Bunshichi), adapted from a Rakugo story. It's funny, it's touching, and even if the language is a bit archaic, and there is still the wailing quality of the Kabuki voice, it is much more accessible - I even managed to understand some (it really isn't so bad, as long as you know enough to switch all the "de gozaimasu"s for "desu"s). At least in those moments my ear wasn't full of Oshima-san, our pre-recorded commentator for the piece.

My frequent references to dozing can be explained in three ways. Four, if you count the least applicable one ("really boring"). They are:

1. My vampiric biorhythm. Again I couldn't sleep during the night, and my body tried to compensate by knocking me out during the day.

2. My blasted need for oxygen. I never dozed during the first 20 minutes after the break. But afterwards, my brain just wanted to go to Standby.

3. My appreciation of the soothing sounds of human wails, wooden block claps, shamisen pangs and shoulder-drum poings.

And I'm writing about this this openly and trying to conceal my shame over being an uncultured barbarian only because I can say that I was doing the ultimate Kabuki experience. If anyone starts pointing fingers at me, I can just explain to them that I was doing what the natives were doing. What I mean is that, just around me, at some point or other, I could spot at least a dozen dozing Japanese.

Cool thing about Kabuki, and I guess necessary when one remembers how long it lasts, is that it is expected to have your lunch there. Everyone comes to Kabuki with a bento, or buys one there. So it's kind of like what cinema would have been like had it existed in Far East couple of hundred years ago, with local equivalents of pop-corn (like ¥200 taiyaki).

Regarding the prices: Front row seats are sell-your-soul expensive at ~¥18000. The cheapest non-crappy seats were 1F and 2F back rows at ~¥12000. 3F back rows (where we were) are quite affordable at ~¥2500. There is also ¥650 charge for renting an earphone, but we got it for free with our group discount (¥2000 for the whole thing). There is also an option of paying ¥1000 for the behind-the-back-row spectators, or so-called 4F, for one piece only, and if I understood correctly the guide whom I asked about it, there may not be seats, but standing places instead. This is a good deal for those who have time limitations, cashflow problems, length requirements, or formicas in posteriori.

After that, as if it wasn't enough, I went on to continue my day of reckless spending, and bought a new pair of jeans, with a new belt. The old pants have me look like a skater, only not as stylish.